In which I have a new BFF. But I don't know her name.

Last week when Maddy was at my house, she told me, "Put on some earrings, Nan!", and you know I try to do what Maddy wants, so I stood right up and pulled a pair of earrings out of my jewelry box. But when I tried to put them on...well, the right one went in just fine, but the left one would not go all the way through my ear!

You know how, when you haven't worn earrings for a long time and they just heal over a tiny layer of skin at the back, and sometime you can just push the earring through? I could not get that earring through! I kept trying, and finally gave up so my sore ear lobe could have a rest. Later, after Maddy had gone home (and she had forgotten about the earrings long ago, what with the fun of jumping on Kim's bed, and eating pudding in a pouch from the fridge), I tried again, but the earring would not go through my ear!

I googled it, of course, because that is what I do, and one website suggested using something to lubricate the earring. Hmm, good idea, so I used some Tea Tree oil, because it's an antiseptic, but oh man, it would just not go through!

So I let my ear rest overnight. You have no idea how hard that was for me! I am so impatient! And the next day I tried again! Nope. It just wasn't happening.

If it had been a friend who couldn't get an earring through, I could have helped her easily. You just push the post through and look at the back of the lobe to see where it should be coming out, and aim for that spot, but here's the thing - I do yoga, but I cannot see the backs of my own earlobes!

I only wish I had a friend who could do that for me, but I don't. I live with Rich, and I would not even trust him to put an earring through a perfectly open hole, not if he was dressing me for my own funeral. I also live with Kim, and I am not saying this as an insult, but Kim is just not the kind of girl who could do a thing like that. Actually, she is not squeamish, so now that I think about it, she maybe could have done it, because I can picture her doing it to help say, Ana, if she needed that kind of help, but no, I don't think I could ask her to perform that kind of delicate operation on me.

There are only two people in my life that I could trust my ears to, and that is Diana, and Sheila, and neither of them lives near me! I only have RA, and she doesn't even have pierced ears!

So today I was sitting at the yarn shop, knitting and listening to the knitters talking, and I had an idea! I left the shop and walked up the block to the tattoo shop! Where people have many piercings! Where a boy with giant spacers in his ears informed me that they no longer do piercings! OMG.

But, as I left the tattoo shop I passed the next store between the tattoo parlor and the yarn shop, and it was a little jewelry store full of very shiny, gaudy, jewelry. It is a store full of bling. The blingiest bling in the whole world!

I went into the store and the (I assume) owner of the store listened to me as I told her about my sealed-up earhole, and she helped me find the least huge pair of blingy earrings with a nice straight post, and then, she kindly just poked it through that hole and it popped! out the back, and what!?! Now I have earrings. Wait until Maddy sees me!

I am going to take that woman some cookies tomorrow. And ask her what her name is, because she is my new best friend. My two other BFFs live too far away.