In which there are pigeons.

Ow sweetie, ow dahling! My hips are killing me! Yoga class tonight was a good one, and thankfully there were some new people, so we didn't get an ass-kicking like we sometimes do, but oh my goodness, we did the longest pigeon pose ever!

In pigeon pose, you swing one leg up in front of your body and bend the knee so that your shin is parallel to the front of your mat and the other leg is straight out behind you on the mat. You are sitting on the front sideways-turned thigh, and the back thigh, which is lengthened out on the mat behind you. Keep your hips level, do not lean toward one side or the other for support.

Now, keeping your back straight with your shoulders level and facing front, drop your shoulder blades down your back - don't hunch them up around your ears no matter how much it feels like your hip is going to come out of the socket, or how much your right knee - the one that you fell on a few years ago when the dog was trying to kill you and tripped you on the ice in the driveway, yeah, that one, no matter how much it 'sings' (screams!) at you.

Take five deep, slow breaths and enjoy the good stretch. Keep breathing while your yoga teacher gets up and changes the CD because the music is getting too exciting.

Now, still maintaining the pigeon pose, twist your torso in the direction of the bent leg. Hold that twist for three deep breaths.

Still holding the pose, now bend forward over the bent leg, and stretch your arms out ahead of you on the floor. If that is too hard for you, lean on your forearms, like I do!

Finally, you come out of the pose! What a relief! Back to downward dog, then three-legged downward dog with the left leg in the air behind you, and then...that's right, swing that left leg forward into pigeon pose and start taking those five deep breaths. Do it all again on that side, but this time the teacher doesn't have to get up and change the CD. Whew!

So after class, my hips were feeling very, very stretched. When I staggered in the door after class, Kim said she was going to W@lmart to pick up a couple of things, so I put my coat back on and went with her. I don't like to send her out at night alone!

We picked up Rachel, who said she needed a couple of things, and also I wanted to drop off the bottle of essential oil blend that I made for Ash's tinnitus. I hope it helps! I made a bottle of it for Bill at work, too, so they are my test subjects.

So we did our shopping, but let me tell you, I was moving pretty slow, because the more I walked, the more my hips were killing me! I usually have some ibuprophen in my purse, but my bottle has disappeared, and yes, I know I was in a store where they sell ibuprophen, but I have a couple or three big bottles of it at home, so I didn't want to buy another one!

Rachel was moving slowly, too, because of injuring her knee when she was ice skating last week, so we were just plodding along through the store like a couple of turtles while Kim was bounding around us like a jack rabbit, grabbing this and running down another aisle for that...

Finally we were done, and as we left the store, I clicked the remote on my key fob to unlock the doors of the car and turn the lights on, so we could find where we parked the car.

The lights came on and the car was closer than we thought! Yay! We went to where the (filthy) white minivan was parked, and Kim reached out to open the tailgate, but it hadn't unlocked, so I clicked the remote at it again. She must have fumbled it, so I clicked it again. And again! What the heck? Then we noticed a woman was sitting in the van, and had rolled down the window to tell us, in a pissy way, that we had the wrong car. Oh, I'm sorry, your lights came on at the same time I clicked for mine, and also? One filthy white minivan looks pretty much like another.

Of course we were falling all over each other, laughing at what idiots we are, but she didn't seem to get the joke. Did she think we were trying to rob her filthy car? No thanks, I've got one of my own.

And then I went home and took some Advil, but I think it's time for another dose. Ow.